I’m Such a Girls’ Girl… So Why Do I Feel So Alone Right Now?

For such a girls’ girl, I don’t seem to have a lot of girls around me right now.

Eighteen-year-old me would be shocked by that.

Back then I spent so much of my early adulthood investing in my friendships. The conversations that lasted all night, getting ready together, laughing until our stomachs hurt, believing that those moments would always exist exactly like that.

But adulthood has a funny way of rearranging everything.

Now everyone is busy adulting. Investing in their partners, getting married, advancing their careers, travelling the world.

I’m busy adulting.

I get home at 6pm every weekday after work and I’m in bed by 8:30 🥲Saturday nights, nights that once felt sacred, now feel almost dreadful. Not because I’m sad, but because I can hardly reconcile with this new version of myself that doesn’t actually want to go out anymore. I just want to be the kind of girl that goes to Pilates and drinks matcha. But right now I’d rather be curled up in bed.

And Sundays?

Don’t even get me started on Sundays.

I spend so much of Sunday preparing for the week ahead that sometimes my Sundays feel worse than my Mondays. The laundry, the endless to-do lists, the meal prepping, the quiet (more like loud) pressure of another week starting.

Then there’s the existential dread that creeps in every time I scroll on social wondering if I’m somehow doing life wrong.

And the news, the damn news.

But today isn’t about that. Today is about celebration. About womanhood in all its messy, contradictory, beautiful forms.

The truth is, being a woman isn’t always glamorous. Sometimes it looks like having your nails always done (which I do), but somehow never making the time to wax (oops). And honestly? Eff it.

Sometimes it looks like lying in bed daydreaming about the perfect partner while listening to Daniel Caesar on repeat because the thought of downloading another bloody dating app for the 100th time makes you feel physically ill (I’m looking at you Hinge).

Sometimes it looks like realising that right now you need to prioritise yourself in your life, even if that comes with a kind of loneliness you weren’t expecting.

And if I’m honest… sometimes I sit there and think:

Is this what growing up feels like?

Because womanhood doesn’t always exist in loud rooms filled with your girls and endless bottomless brunches.

Sometimes womanhood exists in the quiet. In the evenings when you’re alone with your thoughts.

In the seasons where everyone is scattered across their own lives, healing, building, and figuring things out.

And that doesn’t make you less connected or less loved.

It just means life is happening.

The truth is you can’t really be there for others if you’re not okay yourself.

And sometimes taking care of yourself looks like saying no to things you once loved.

Sometimes it looks like resting and choosing your own peace. Even when it feels unfamiliar.

So today, take a moment to celebrate yourself.

Celebrate the woman you are right now. Whether that is the tired version, the hopeful version, the figuring-it-out version of yourself.

Celebrate the women in your life too.

The ones who are near, the ones who are far, the ones you haven’t spoken to in months but still hold a place in your heart.

Because it’s not easy existing in a world where women are constantly told we’re not quite enough.

Not pretty enough.

Not successful enough.

Not healed enough.

Not worthy enough.

But today we reject that.

Today we celebrate the fact that we are here, living, trying and growing.

Flaws, contradictions, softness and strength all included.

And if you’re reading this as part of the Minxx Club community, I hope you know this space was always meant to be a place where you can show up as you are.

So here’s to us.

To womanhood in all its forms.

Happy Belated International Women’s Day. (That’s a thing right?)

With love,

Mimi from Minxx Club